Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Posted by:
Kevin McCullough
at
6:03 PM
 These past several days have been a season of quiet for me and the McCullough home in general.
For the second time this calendar year the tiniest and newest member of our family, a child already living, but not yet born, did not survive the birth process.
Things happen to individuals when they grieve.
For my Lovely Bride it seemed to be a time of added emotion as word came to us that the parent of childhood friends was buried back home, and added to that the fact that the Lovely Bride's mom--who left us in 2005--was such good friends with the mother who had just passed.. Add these together and you can see the level of emotion, reflection, and contemplation that we experienced.
When the worries that we might be losing the pregnancy came on Saturday I felt as helpless as any human can. To see one you love, to hear the fear that taints the attempted bravery with which she speaks, and to know your absolute inability to do anything about it confounds and frustrates the soul.
Thus the reason I've not written on this blog really since last Friday. I also canceled my column on Sunday, stayed home from church, opted out of FoxNews and other book promotion and media on Monday/Tuesday, and even now can barely bring myself to get the next word typed.
It had only been a few days before that we had let ourselves believe that this pregnancy was different than the one in April which ended earlier and in largely the same fashion.
Yet despite that loss, there is something about these days that I would not take back. In five days of mostly quiet there has been the discussion of things deep in our hearts. There has been the reminder that we are not now, and have not been alone in this process. There has been the generous offers of support from friends--some we've known, and some brand new--that spoke to the real pieces of who we are as people.
There is an appreciation for a mother of three from our church who would drop her plans on a busy Saturday night just to come listen for hours. There were the prayers, and love of good friends, some of whom we would just naturally believe would be too busy, too important, to come out of their way to be for us whatever we asked. But they came...
There is an education in learning how much more goes into the formation of that child that is living, just not yet born. And there is an awareness in even greater detail that this tiny life, is not merely a mass of cells, but someONE living, growing, and maturing.
Maybe its the grappling with the fundamental reality of something I've believed for so long--but now seeing its truth in more potent full-color strength that gives me the quiet assurance that there is no need to apologize for my belief about the sacred aspect of such life.
And while a season of silence was good for myself and my Lovely Bride, perhaps the time is now to become even more precise in the battle for the lives of those who have no defense.
And isn't it interesting that it IS those who have no defense that are most under attack in a nation where freedom and justice are supposedly the rule of the day.
There is much to get into about bailouts, cabinet appointments, President-elect Obama's fake office, the feces-throwing homosexuals in California--but as far as I'm concerned those could all be put on hold for a few days, because of what the Creator was doing in our lives was again demonstrating the proof of his claim, power, and dominion.
Yesterday, the Lovely Bride set the table for Thursday's meal of Thanksgiving that we will celebrate. Like her mother who passed in 2005 she has carried the tradition of autumn leaves on the places settings and name cards for each person who will be there, four of whom have yet to arrive. On that day we will, also in keeping with tradition, ask each person partaking in that meal to name one thing that they have to be thankful for.
In pondering all of this while preparing for our guests the Lovely Bride said to me out of the blue and out of the quiet, "I have so much to be thankful for..." At which point she named several things.
And I was reminded of one other aspect of life.
That those who know and seek God, those that "wait" on Him--if you will, He has promised to those, that He will renew their strength.
And it appears that for us, after these past several quiet days, He has begun to do just that.
So here's to a more deeply profound Thanksgiving to each of you, regardless of your circumstance, because at the end of the day--as God's creation, you have more to be thankful about than you likely realize in this moment. But if that's the case, take some time to be quiet, take a season to be still, and see for yourself if it does not indeed become a season of goodness!
|
|
...one is often at an awkward loss for words. One wants to convey sympathy over the loss and weep with those who weep, but somehow include some encouragement and perspective as well without sounding trite and condescending. I cannot say personally that I've also experienced such a loss (though I have experienced death in the family). I can only say with the Psalmist, "Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me," and with Job, "Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him."
And as for your exhortation for Thanksgiving, I give you: "Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth." (Psalms 46:10)
Best wishes to you and yours. |
|
Kevin, So sorry to hear this news. We will remember you, your wife and family in our prayers and pray for you often. My bride and our family lost three children in the past year (Faith the first time and Hope & Lovie the second time). I can't say I know exactly what you're going through, but I kinda know. When we don't understand something completely, we have to fall back on what we do know, and that is God loves us and cherishes us deeply. Wish we could do something for you and your family. This we can do, and that is pray for you. May His face shine upon you, may you drink of the Living Water daily and be renewed every morning for His mercies are new every morning. God Bless, Mike Southern California |
|
Kevin -- What a touching, but heartbreaking posting. Family is more precious than anything, and I cannot begin to image the saddness you and your wife must be enduring.
Know that the thoughts and prayers of people you and your wife have never met go with you both in this difficult time.
|
|
Kevin,
His arms unfold... press you to His chest... His loving embrace... His strength... His grace.
Thank you for sharing from the depths of your heart - this poignant moment in time.
We give pause and reflection for His eternal goodness. May He immerse you and your family in His grace.
~ Liza |
|
|
As I write this, I am torn as to what is appropriate to say. Reading your post, I genuinely feel for you and your family. I understand on some level the pain you are going through and I also know the intense and incredible feelings of connection with your community and family that you can discover during times of tragedy. I am, however, disheartened by the politics that enter your post towards the end, particularly the reference to "feces throwing homosexuals". Regardless, please know that this homosexual wishes you and your family peace and happiness this Thanksgiving. While I often disagree with you, I am sometimes enlightened by your writing. In fact, you recently opened my eyes to the heartbreaking poverty in Haiti and inspired me to donate to causes that help the residents of that tiny nation and for that I am thankful this Thanksgiving. Thank you Mr. McCullough. |
|
Kevin, my sincere condolences to you and your wife on your losses. It's comforting to know that you know Him, and the Holy Spirit, the Comforter.
Please let me offer you this old Gospel song, "Under His Wings," written by Ira Sankey, the music director for world-famous Chicago evangelist, Dwight L. Moody.
"Under His wings I am safely abiding, Though the night deepens and tempests are wild, Still I can trust Him; I know He will keep me, He has redeemed me, and I am His child.
Refrain
Under His wings, under His wings, Who from His love can sever? Under His wings my soul shall abide, Safely abide forever.
Under His wings, what a refuge in sorrow! How the heart yearningly turns to His rest! Often when earth has no balm for my healing, There I find comfort, and there I am blessed.
Refrain
Under His wings, oh, what precious enjoyment! There will I hide till life’s trials are o’er; Sheltered, protected, no evil can harm me, Resting in Jesus, I’m safe evermore."
And then let me offer the link to a magnificent and comforting song based on the Bible verse, "What is man that you are mindful of him? And the son of man, that you careth for him?"
"The Majesty and Glory of Your Name" Music by an extraordinary soloist: http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=703433809996175363
Words: https://www1419.sanjose14-verio.com/turtl7/music/index.php? pid=cds001&lp=lp003
Love in Christ,
Former Chicagoan
|
|
|
Sympathies to you and yours. What a tragedy for all involved. |
|
The tears that filled my eyes made it difficult to read your article. You both have my deepest condolences as well as my highest admiration. I salute you for Walking the Walk and giving thanks for your many blessings at such a time as this in your lives. You and your Lovely Bride are incredibly strong pillars in the house of God.
I have three children here . . . and one in heaven, miscarried a few years before my third child was born. The immense & devastating sorrow is not something I would wish on anybody. I can not imagine how one would go through such a traumatic experience without knowing the Lord.
I am so thankful that you two share that Blessed Assurance. Even in your darkest of hours, you & your Lovely Bride are shining ever so brightly.
My thoughts & prayers are with you.
Your FB friend in South FL,
Ingrid |
|
I am so very sorry for your loss. I pray for your comfort and just know that one day you will see these children in Heaven. I can't help but think of the account of King David in 2 Samuel 12:
19.David noticed that his servants were whispering among themselves and he realized the child was dead. "Is the child dead?" he asked. "Yes," they replied, "he is dead." 20.Then David got up from the ground. After he had washed, put on lotions and changed his clothes, he went into the house of the LORD and worshiped. Then he went to his own house, and at his request they served him food, and he ate. 21.His servants asked him, "Why are you acting this way? While the child was alive, you fasted and wept, but now that the child is dead, you get up and eat!" 22.He answered, "While the child was still alive, I fasted and wept. I thought, 'Who knows? The LORD may be gracious to me and let the child live.' 23.But now that he is dead, why should I fast? Can I bring him back again? I will go to him, but he will not return to me."
One day, Kevin, you will go to them.
|
|
|